Honestly? Any business that's currently paying the "idiot tax" on their ad spend. But let's get specific.

The Sweet Spot: You're spending $10K-$500K per month on ads and have this nagging feeling that half of it is vanishing into the void. Spoiler: it probably is.

E-commerce folks who think adding more products to their shopping campaigns will magically fix their ROAS. (It won't. Your feed sucks and your bidding strategy is from 2019.)

B2B companies targeting "CEOs interested in business" on LinkedIn. Yeah, that's not how any of this works.

Local businesses whose Google Ads are showing up in cities they don't even serve because someone watched one YouTube tutorial and declared themselves a expert.

SaaS companies burning through VC money faster than a Tesla burns through tires, wondering why their CAC is higher than their customer's lifetime value.

The brutal truth: If you've ever looked at your ad dashboard and thought "these numbers can't be right" or "what does any of this mean?" – you need us. If your agency sends you reports full of green arrows pointing up but your bank account says otherwise – you definitely need us.

Like therapy, but for your ad accounts. And with more swearing.

Week 1: We look at what you're doing and try not to cry. You share your screen, we share our disbelief at the chaos we're witnessing. It's like an intervention, but for targeting parameters.

Week 2-4: We start fixing the obvious disasters. The campaigns targeting the entire planet. The ad copy written by ChatGPT that sounds like ChatGPT. The landing pages that load slower than dial-up internet.

Month 2: You start to understand why things were broken. We teach you the actual logic behind bid strategies (hint: "maximize clicks" is almost never the answer). You begin to see the matrix.

Month 3 and beyond: You're making changes yourself. You're catching problems before they eat your budget. You're explaining to your boss why that "viral TikTok strategy" is actually just setting money on fire with extra steps.

The format: Weekly video calls where we screen share and judge your decisions lovingly. WhatsApp/Slack access for when Facebook inevitably breaks something at 11 PM on a Friday. Homework that you'll actually want to do because it saves you money.

Fair warning: We will make you explain your targeting choices out loud. It's embarrassing for everyone involved, but it works.

The truth and sometimes it stings. We'll point out the money leaks, the wasted clicks, and the "who the hell set this up?" moments in your account. Then we give you a game plan that actually makes sense. Follow it, and you'll stop lighting cash on fire.

First, the audit phase: We go through your accounts like forensic accountants who actually understand marketing. Every campaign, every ad set, every keyword, every audience. We document the crimes against advertising.

The reality check: A detailed report that reads like a rap battle between your current strategy and common sense. We'll show you exactly where every dollar goes and why half of them never had a chance.

The game plan: Not some 97-page PDF full of theory. Actual steps. "Turn this off. Change this bid. Stop targeting your grandmother's knitting circle with B2B software ads." Real stuff you can implement Monday morning.

Ongoing support: Because fixing your ads isn't a one-and-done situation. Platforms change, algorithms evolve, and somewhere, someone in your company is about to create a campaign targeting "people interested in interests."

What we won't do: Blow smoke, use fancy words to confuse you, or pretend that your product will sell itself if we just find the right audience. If your landing page converts like a screen door on a submarine, we'll tell you.

The best part: You'll actually understand what's happening. No more nodding along in meetings pretending you know what attribution modeling means. You'll be the one explaining to others why their ideas are expensive and stupid.

Look, we're consultants who actually know how to push buttons. Weird combo, right?

Our preference? Teaching you not to suck at this. Why? Because when we leave, you're not helpless. You're not calling us at 2 AM because Facebook changed a button color and now you're panicking.

But yeah, if you want us to babysit your campaigns, we'll do it. Just know it's like hiring Gordon Ramsay to flip burgers at your backyard BBQ. We'll do it, but you're paying for expertise that's honestly overkill for daily management.

The deal: Management starts at $5K/month on top of consulting fees. Because if we're doing the work AND teaching you, that's two jobs, chief.

High? HIGH?! Let’s do the math.

1. Average account wastes 30–50% of spend.

2. Spending $20K/month? That’s $6–10K burned, every month.

3. Our $2,300 fee saves you that much in week one.

Sure, hire the $500/month “guru” from Upwork or Fiverr. Come back when you realize that was not smart.

Reality check: Good help isn’t cheap. Cheap help isn’t good. Pick one.

Anyone who guarantees results in ads is lying.

What we can guarantee:

You’ll finally understand why your ads suck.

You’ll know exactly where your money goes.

You’ll stop making rookie mistakes.

Your campaigns will actually look professional.

You’ll sleep better knowing someone competent checked your account.

Will sales triple overnight? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends if people even want your product.

We’ve worked with both - from candle sellers at farmers markets to public companies with boardrooms full of panic.

Small businesses: They feel every wasted dollar. They move fast. They get it.

Big companies: Seventeen meetings just to stop targeting Antarctica with summer clothes.

Size doesn’t matter. Mindset does.

Of course. You can also do your own root canal with YouTube.

Your free “education” gets you:

47 contradicting articles on bidding strategies.

A guru’s course pitch at the end.

Tactics from 2018.

False confidence that wrecks your account.

See you in six months when nothing works. (We’ll say “told you so.”)

Because agencies love vanity metrics.

Agency: “CTR is up 12%!”

Us: “Cool. But your conversion rate is garbage and you’re losing money.”

Agencies keep you comfortable. We keep you profitable.

Best practices = best at being average.

We test what actually works for you.

Best practice: “Always use broad match.”

Us: “Let’s test it and see if Google just steals your lunch money.”

We don’t follow rules. We follow results.

<$3K/month: You don’t need us yet. Go graduate from “boost post” school first.

$3K–$10K/month: We can help, but you must implement fast. No room for half-measures.

Truth: Small budgets need more expertise, not less. Most small spenders want cheap help. That’s why they stay small.

Ha! No.

You want us to gamble on whether you follow instructions, keep inventory, or fix your site speed? We’re consultants, not psychics.

Every client who’s asked for performance pay had the worst accounts. Funny, that.

Congrats, you’ve paid for honesty. Now you get to choose:

1. Ignore us and keep burning money.

2. Argue why your way is “better.” (It’s not.)

3. Accept reality, fix your stuff, and win.

We’re not here to be your friend. We’re here to make your ads profitable.

Ads aren’t rotisserie chickens. You can’t “set and forget.”

1. Platforms change daily.

2. Competitors adapt.

3. Customers get bored.

We’ll teach you to fish. If you want us to catch, clean, cook, and spoon-feed it while you binge Netflix - that’s a different price tag.

Depends on how bad things are.

Surface stupid: Days.

Structural disasters: Weeks.

Full rebuild: 1–2 months.

Product sucks: Nothing helps.

Most clients see big gains in 2–4 weeks. Not because we’re magic, but because the bar is underground.